DerbyGirlsEat – Blaque Jac Edition

In case you’ve been living under a rock the past few years, Florida roller derby is not to be messed with. Packed in our state we have no less than 6 WFTDA leagues: Jacksonville, Gainesville, Tallahassee, Gold Coast, Tampa and Fort Myers. A few more leagues have been added to the WFTDA Apprentice program, and there are several more local leagues all over the state. We’ve got no less than 85 women coming to try out for Team Florida for the upcoming State Wars tournament this Sunday. Yours truly will be there, though I have no expectations of making the final roster. When you’re trying out against the likes of Little A (former Team USA skater) and Ms. Jax’em (world champion speed skater) you tend to just be happy if you can show up and maybe make a block or two.

However, the best part about Team Florida is not the amount of concentrated skating talent that we have, but rather the support that we all have for the leagues. When someone posts an open scrimmage, you’d better sign up fast because those slots are going quick. When you go to a game, you’ll see at least 3 other leagues coming to show love to the 2 teams playing. Tampa is playing Jacksonville on Saturday, and it’s blowing everyone’s mind. It’s like trying to pick one bestie over another; you can’t really predict who will win even if you wanted to.

So in the spirit of showing some love to Team Florida, I’m starting out a new spin I’m putting on DerbyGirlEats by featuring some recognizable names in the derby community from right here in the Sunshine State! My first interview is with the most feared booty on the west coast of Florida. I think my favorite moment watching this girl skate was during Franky Panky 2013 when she gave a slay ride to Antidote of the Philly Roller Girls on turn 3. It was like seeing that clip of Beyonslay and Rice Rocket for the first time, but in real life and at eye level. Gorgeous.

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And, of course, who can hate on those dance moves? Bitches be stealing that shit. The first time I saw Lloimincia Hall’s floor routine I thought, “I’ve definitely seen Blaque Jac do that already. On skates.”

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Name: Jacqueline “Blaque Jac” Thermitus

Number: 21

League: Tampa Roller Derby1532077_706499196056705_879210174_o

Tell me about yourself! When did you start derby? I started derby in March 2009 in Bradenton with the Bradentucky Bombers and transferred to Tampa Roller Derby on March 2012.

Aside from being sponsored by Bont, what cool things have you done with your derby career? Where has it taken you? One of the super cool things that I have done was travel to Los Angles for the LA Derby Dolls annual Banked Track Bootcamp where I got to play in front of thousands of derby fans and with tons of amazing skaters all while playing on the banked track. Being on the Tampa Roller Derby all-star travel team, the Tampa Tantrums, has taken me all over the US as well.

How has derby changed the way you feel about food? As I became more and more competitive in roller derby, I have been more and more aware about my food choices. As a thicker girl then most derby players, I still have to eat right but s1396800_612174085490292_1247098647_otill eat enough to fuel my body for practice and game day.

What healthy foods can you not live without? Baked Chicken is a must! Broccoli and asparagus are my two favorite greens. I’m starting to not live without water… I know funny right, but being a Pepsi drinker quitting soda altogether was a hard challenge for me.

What is your guilty pleasure? Publix Jumbo Chocolate Chip Cookies

How do you cross-train off the track? I try to do different things. I really like going to either a kickboxing class or cross training boot camp.

Tell us a little bit about your game day juice! My “crack juice” is Celsius! I drink one of those per game or sometimes I even mix it with water. I like that it gives me that boost of energy right when I need it.

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Tell me all about D1 in Richmond… What are some things that you did to prepare, and what did you take away from Playoffs? To prepare for Richmond the Tampa Tantrums did a lot of team bonding. I know you weren’t expecting that answer, but to be a unit is very important. We of course amped up our off-skates work outs and came up with the strategies and tactic to help us perform. Leaving Richmond we of course didn’t come out the way we wanted but we went back to the drawing boards and became an even better team.

Click here for Blaque Jac’s favorite chicken and asparagus bake!

 

Lemon Lentil Salad

If anyone can give me the secret to getting rid of sea legs, I will give you a high five. I’ve been back on land for over 24 hours, but I still can’t shake the inevitable feeling that I’m rocking back and forth on waves not suitable for vacationing on a cruise ship. Luckily I’ve tamed the acid reflux from too much food and even more Mai Tais with vodka floaters. Pro Tip: Don’t even bother getting drunk on a cruise ship. You’ll blow through your budget and your stash of smuggled booze faster than you can make your way from one end of the dinner buffet to the other. There just isn’t enough real estate in your stomach, and your liver is too busy processing the plate of bacon you had for breakfast and the plate of roast beef you had for lunch to even bother with that $8 pina colada you just bought.

Speaking of $8 pina coladas, let me recap a few things that happened to annoy the shit out of me on my long weekend!

1. If a drink is described in great detail on a menu, please serve it to me that way. I knew better than to get caught up in drinking cruise ship beverages. But when I bellied up to one of the bars with a stunning view of the ocean just as we had set sail, I took a gander at the bar menu and saw a lovely sounding beverage. Why not kick off the trip with a little something besides bootlegged vodka mixed with the lemonade from the soda machine? There was a Hendrick’s gin rickey of sorts that boasted fresh limes muddled together with fresh raspberries and simple syrup. The price seemed reasonable so I went for it. I was handed back a glass filled with Mr. Boston’s well gin and syrupy margarita and raspberry frozen drink mixes. Oh, and a lemon garnish. For $8.XX (because gratuity is already added).

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I did remind the bartender that I ordered the ultimate gin rickey… You know, the one with Hendrick’s in it and the fresh ingredients. The boyfriend offered to drink the first one, and I watched the bartender make the ‘correct’ one. Sadly, the correct one still came to me made with the syrupy junk from the carton. With a lemon. And I still got charged $8.XX. Later that night I tried ordering another lime-based drink and was informed that the entire ship was out of limes. Good thing I had listened to NPR a few days ago when they ran a story about the international lime market and how global demand for the fruit has jacket up the street value and made them hard to find. I still wish someone would have told me when I placed my drink order that there were no limes.

On the third day of the cruise I treated myself to the festive Mai Tai. Again I ordered the fancy one off the bar menu, because why not. It had Disaronno and some Pyrat special rum that the boyfriend said was particularly good. I’m watching the bartender make the drink. In goes the Disaronno. Then he tops the whole glass off with fruity juice from a big jug and hands it to me. I politely say, “Oh, I’m sorry… Did you add the rum?” He chuckles back and says the rum is already mixed in the juice, and suggests I try it because I can taste it. Sure enough, I do taste it. But deep down I’m furious that I’m again being charged for top-shelf liquor and being served the opposite. I take my drink, enjoy half of it, and then try to justify the situation by pouring some of my smuggled vodka into it.

2. When a pool is designated as the grown ups’ pool, please keep your goddamned kids out of it. The adults need a place to chill out sans kids too. When you’ve finally dropped the babies off at the nursery for the afternoon, or you’ve snagged one of the last chaises by the pool and you’re about to crack open a good book, or you’re just a lone traveler trying to enjoy a little ‘you’ time, do you want to deal with five year olds doing cannonballs? Having the whirlpool tub overrun by unsupervised preschoolers? No! I want to read Chuck Palahniuk and listen to this symphony cover of Celine Dion and enjoy my third lox and bagel from the breakfast buffet.

Those unexpected days at sea are the worst. We were unable to tender in to the cruiseline’s private island (our second and last stop of the trip), so we were left to fend for ourselves on board. Needless to say the pool deck was packed. It was the only afternoon where there was sun, so there was not a chair in sight. Getting into the pool was not a possibility; the kids had abandoned the children’s pool and opted for the family pool and there was a swarm of about 20 kids bobbing around in snorkel gear or diving in on top of each other. The boy and I checked in the grown up’s pool. Not ideal since it’s a solarium-style and I wasn’t sure how much sun we’d end up getting, but beggars can’t be choosers. Sadly, everything was taken. There could have been more seating, but some families decided it would be great if they could just tote their kids along. Eventually the boy and I found 2 chairs that another couple had just abandoned on the public deck and were able to get sunburned and listed to the reggae band play covers in between asking the kids not to do handstands into the pool.

3. Put some damn clothes on your kids. There have been a few times where I’ve stopped, cocked my head to the side and have wondered what in the hell some parents are thinking when they let their kids leave the house. But when a kid is under the age of 5, odds are pretty good that you dressed your kid yourself. This is not a matter of your 13 year old unzipping their hoodie to reveal a tube top. This is a 4 year old running around in micro-bikini and you put her in it. Seriously, I don’t even think that one of the triangles would have covered one of my nips. It was downright disturbing, and the thought that all one pervert had to do was snap a picture on their cell phone was too much.

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Aside from coordinating what time to hit the dinner buffet before our sit down dinner, the boyfriend and I talked about what we will and won’t allow our kids to wear for the better part of that afternoon. Glad to know he and I are on the same page.

4. Don’t make me pay three times what I’d pay on dry land and then give me a sales pitch. Another thing I knew better was not to spend money in the spa. I wound up spending over $100 on a ‘manager’s special’ treatment that was a scalp massage, foot massage, and a hot stone back massage. I could have gotten a Groupon! And if the price tag wasn’t unsettling enough, try relaxing when the spa is directly located under the weight room of the gym. All of the bro’s on the ship (and trust me, the boy and I counted at least 20 bro’s) were all working out at the same time, slamming their weights down on the thin floor above me. But the real cherry on top was the sales pitch. Talk about bursting what little bubble of relaxation I had. I had a feeling it was coming… I had sailed once on this cruise line a few years back and had the same thing happen to me. As soon as you’re handed your cup of water and still nekkid on the massage table, your therapist explains in her heavy accent about the types of oils she just rubbed you down with. Then she tells you how to use them at home. Then she says, “So which ones will you be purchasing today?” I’m sorry? I just overpaid you for the least relaxing massage I’ve ever had and you’re asking me to purchase these ‘exclusive’ beauty products?

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So that’s my rant.IMG_0579

At least now I’m home and slowly working good things into my body, like water. I’m already feeling some of the bloat going away, and last night when I finally found my appetite again all I wanted was something light but flavorful, and preferably with ingredients I already had in the fridge. There is a lemony lentil salad that I really like, and its great for lunch or as a side with dinner. It would also be good for taking on picnics because it doesn’t contain mayo and is great hot or cold.

 

Eat this and feel good!

1 ½ cups of green lentils
Zest of 1 lemon
Juice from ½ a lemon
1 Tbs Dijon mustard
3 Tbs quality extra virgin olive oil
1 green bell pepper, diced
4 scallions, sliced
1/4 cup diced red onion (optional)
1 clove of garlic minced or grated on a micro plane
Salt to taste

1. Boil your lentils in water for about 15 minutes, then drain.
2. In a mixing bowl, add all of the other ingredients except the salt.
3. Add in your lentils and toss together until everything is coated evenly.
4. Salt the salad to taste. Sometimes Dijon can add a little saltiness, so you always want to salt after.
5. Enjoy either warm or cold!

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